16 Aug 2019

Morrison Attends Traditional Island Flooding Ceremony

Tuvalu Thursday August 15 2019
Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was guest of honor at a traditional Pacific 'Island Flooding Ceremony today.
After consumig a large quantity of the sedative drink 'Kava' Morrison was presented with a ceremonial lei made entirely from floating plastic and packaging from dumped narcotics destined for Australia.

Most Western journalists felt the Island Flooding Ceremony dragged on for too long but the Pacific leaders then spent 3 days working on a press release.

In the carefully-worded statement the Island Leaders acknowledged they could find safety at Hillsong Churches if they agreed to their children being abused by the pastors.
'They are welcome in Australia as long as they do firefighting, flood rescue training and allow their most attractive daughters to work as au pairs for friends of the Australian Minister for immigration, border security, counter terrorism and state secrecy Peter Dutton' said PM Morrison.

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